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Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves [Oct. 8th, 2005|06:23 pm]
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Sorry for the long delay - but we're finally back, together with cloudlessnights ! After all the suffering we've put you through with the last sporkings, it's time for some fun now. Therefore, we've giggled our way through Kevin Reynold's Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves.

Disclaimer: Neither of us is a big fan of Kevin Costner, but there's one thing to be said in his favour.

He's not Mel Gibson.

Title card: 800 years ago, Richard the Lionheart went to save the Holy Land from the Turks.

cutecoati : Turks??? Oy...

fourth_rose : You know, towelheads are towelheads.


Jerusalem. Turkish Saracen dungeons.

cutecoati : Why let prisoners of war rot away in the dungeons? You either hope for ransom and treat them well, or you won't bother keeping them in the first place!

fourth_rose : But then we wouldn't get the dastardly dungeons of vile torture and English bravery!

cloudlessnights : And if you look at the state of Robin's hair, his beard is quite well-groomed.


Breakout scene.

Azeem: Take me with you, I'm the noble quota moor and totally unlike those mean Arabian bastards!

Guard: *shoots Peter*

Azeem: Leave him, the wound is by the heart!

cutecoati : Ok, I know Arabian medicine was superior, but it's pitch dark there!

fourth_rose : And he's five feet away.

cloudlessnights : Magical medicine man, obviously.

Azeem: Have a melon, Christian.

Robin: *wolfs down*

cutecoati : What kind of table manners are these?

fourth_rose : And with an Englishman, too!

cloudlessnights : Well, he didn't have any tea.


Daddy Locksley (writes letter): Dear unknown recipient, my boy has gone missing on the Crusade.

fourth_rose : I must say, his British is a lot more convincing than his son's.

cutecoati : Well, Robin has been overseas for a long time. By the way, is he ever dipping that quill into the ink while he writes?

fourth_rose : Since he' writing in a 20th century cursive, the point is moot.

Peasant: Mylord, they took my daughter! Men in masks!

fourth_rose : Death Eaters!

Daddy Locksley: *rides out into ring of flaming torches*

cutecoati : Ku Klux Klan, rather!

Sheriff: Surprise!

Daddy Locksley: Raaaaawwwwwwwwwrrrrrrr!

cloudlessnights : Why doesn't he just ride back into the castle? He's but two metres away from the gate!


Robin: *lands in Dover, jumps out of boat, kisses dirt*

cutecoati : Tasteless. No, wait, there's a hint of mint. Must be England.

Robin: Our fighting days are over. Tonight, we'll dine with my Daddy in Locksley.

fourth_rose : Only if you have a helicopter nearby, mate. It's a 200 miles trip.

Azeem: *is noble, in a foreign way*

fourth_rose : OMG the accent! I thought fake Brit was bad, but fake Arabic beats it all!

Robin: Watch, Azeem, mistletoe!

cutecoati : Kiss me! Btw, is that supposed to be Hadrian's wall?

fourth_rose : If it is, they did have a helicopter.

Azeem: I need to say my prayers. Is there no sun in this country?

fourth_rose : Hello? England?

cutecoati : Besides, it's hardly even overcast...


First run-in with the kid-chasing baddies.

Guy of Gisborne: Welcome home, Locksley. Kill him!

Robin: *crossbows, one-handed*

fourth_rose : Btw, Mr Crusader, these things were considered unchivalrous and prohibited for use against fellow christians.

Guy: Don't hurt me, I'm the sheriff's cousin!

cutecoati , cloudlessnights , fourth_rose : We've seen "Troy". We know what you mean by that, fellow.


Guy: Cousin, Robin of Locksley is back. His companion's face bears the marks of Islam.

cutecoati : Duh?

fourth_rose : Perhaps those dots on his face read Allahu Akbar in Braille.


Locksley Castle.

Duncan: They say your father worshipped the devil!

Robin: That's not possible!

cutecoati : Indeed it isn't. It would even be a bit early for serious accusations of witchcraft, but Satanism is totally out of the question.

Robin: Dad said it was vanity to force our religion upon others.

fourth_rose : That, however, would have got him into serious trouble.

cutecoati : For being an alien intruder from the future!

Robin: Dad, you will be avenged.

cloudlessnights : By Grabthar's hammer!


Peter's Marian's country estate.

Maid-disguised-as-Marian: Turn around, Robin. Give me a nice show.

Robin: Like what you see?

Maid: Erm...

fourth_rose : Not much of a view, really.

Ninja!Marian: *kicks*

cutecoati : Is she really wearing black leather? Leather trousers??

fourth_rose : That's what a girl will get burned for a few centuries later!

cloudlessnights : And speaking of appearances, why do they all have to wear 1980ies haircuts?

Marian: I'm the king's cousin. I must look after his people.

cutecoati : Isn't that was his brother John is supposed to do? You know, the one who ruled England in Richard's absence?

fourth_rose : The one who never makes it into this movie?


Azeem: Watch me having fun with homemade telescopes and ignorant Christians!

cutecoati : The magical man strikes again...

Azeem: How did your uneducated kind ever take Jerusalem?

fourth_rose : I'd appreciate this nod to the cultural superiority of medieval Arabian culture a lot more if they hadn't depicted them as stereotypical cruel bastards in the opening scene. Obviously, Azeem is the only cultivated Saracen of his time.

cutecoati : The noble non-WASP for the PC quota, as per usual.

Robin: Never mind I've got you into all kinds of trouble now, Marian, I'll protect you!

Marian: Piss off!

cutecoati : Once again, they're twirling heavy-duty swords one-handed.

fourth_rose : And there are more crossbows. The English reputation for having the finest archers seems somewhat exaggerated.


Flight into Sherwood Forest.

fourth_rose : That wood is rather well-kept, given that it's supposed to be a haunted wilderness.

cloudlessnights : Well, all those folks living there probably do a fair bit of cleaning.

Robin: How are we supposed to cross this river?

cloudlessnights : Ride across? It's barely ankle-deep!

Little John: I'm John Little, best man of the wood!

cloudlessnights : Who's getting married?

Little John: Let's kick some ass. Or rather, arse, since I'm the one who's responsible for British profanity here. Bugger.

fourth_rose : Ooooo, big sticks!

cutecoati : Hey, Robin is supposed to lose that fight!

fourth_rose : Because isn't it the point that he's a "rich man's son" and therefore would have learned to use a sword instead of some plebeian stick?

Little John: Robin, I'll give you that, you've got balls of solid rock!

cutecoati : That must make long rides rather uncomfortable.


Party of Merry Men in Sherwood Forest.

cloudlessnights : No green jackets to be seen...

cutecoati : ...and no tights, either!

fourth_rose : Well, Kevin Costner doesn't have the legs for them.

Robin: Let Azeem have a drink, too!

Merry Man: But he's a savage!

fourth_rose : WTF??

cutecoati : Heathen, yes. Infidel, yes. But what's a savage to a medieval person?

Robin: Let's fight injustice!

Little John: But these are just farmers!

Will Scarlett: Go home, rich boy. You're nothing like us.

cutecoati : That's basically it. Is anyone ever going to get the feudal system?

fourth_rose : Don't complain, Mel Gibson would have yelled "freedom" five times during that little speech.


Church scene.

fourth_rose : I'll give them points for having a Romanesque church here. The buildings are generally not too bad in this movie.

cutecoati : The renaissance costumes are making up for it. Plus the 80ies hairdos.

Bishop: *is fat and slimy*

Sheriff: *eyes Marian*

fourth_rose : Number one: no benches in churches up to the 18th century.

cutecoati : Number two: no mixing of girls and guys in churches either! And besides, alms-giving is fine, but you don't give money to 12th century poor! What would they do with it?

cloudlessnights : Go shopping?

Marian: Psst, Robin, Nottingham has every blacksmith in the country make swords and armours.

cutecoati : Making armours would be an armourer's job, dear. That's where the name comes from.

fourth_rose : And besides, Nottingham? That's not his name, he's the Sheriff of Nottingham! It's like calling Arnie Mr California!

Bishop: Robin, I asked your father if he worshipped the Dark One.

fourth_rose : He Who Must Not Be Named?


Robin (speech mode): I'm going to lead you.

Azeem: Great plan, honestly.

cutecoati : Somehow, his pep-up talks aren't up to par with Mel's.

fourth_rose : Yes, I'm not vomiting yet.


Sheriff: Watch me mock this stupid movie before it kills me! Also, watch me steal the star's limelight just by raising an eyebrow! Go after this Robin Hood guy!

fourth_rose : Finally, they're burning some cottages...

Villagers: OMG Robin Hood!

Azeem: Great. Now what?

Will Scarlett: Well, thank you, rich boy.

cutecoati : I finally sense the f-word coming up.

Robin: One man fighting for his home is more powerful than ten hired soldiers!

cutecoati : Yes, because there aren't any "hired soldiers" during that time...

cloudlessnights : ...and someone has just burned the homes they were supposed to defend.

Robin: Let's get prepared for fighting back.

fourth_rose : OMG homemade swords!

cutecoati : And there's a bit more to a bow than just a stick and a bit of string. Btw, where are they getting the iron from? Is it growing on the trees in the forest?

fourth_rose : And then they learn to fight within three hours...


Sheriff: Put a price on his head!

fourth_rose : I knew it! I knew there would be wanted posters at some point!

cutecoati : On pseudo-parchment in pseudo-medieval script!

fourth_rose : In a society that is 95 percent illiterate. Who's supposed to read the bloody things?


Scribe: Mylord, Robin Hood has robbed 5 million crowns so far.

cutecoati : Whoa! Let's lose a few of the zeros here, shall we!

Sheriff: This finally gives me the opening to deliver the lines I've been looking forward to throughout this whole abomination of a movie. CALL OFF CHRISTMAS! Hey, wench, to my quarters at 10.30. You, 10.45. And bring a friend.

fourth_rose : Pity wrist-watches are in short supply in Nottingham.


Marian & Sarah foray into the woods.

fourth_rose : A noble woman, alone in the woods without an escort. I guess she really wants to be captured, hm?

Marian: You dare attack me?

Merry Man: That's my job?

Marian: Then who's your employer?

Merry Man: Huh?

cutecoati : I can't blame him for not understanding the term.

Marian: Take me to Robin Hood!

Merry Man: He's, uh, not exactly dressed for a reception at the moment...

Marian: *ogles naked!Robin in the waterfall*

cutecoati : And now she rides back and throws herself into Alan Rickman's arms!

cloudlessnights : And, well, why is Robin's backside such a lovely shade of white while the rest of him isn't? Has he been sunbathing in his swimming trunks?


Outlaw camp.

Robin: This money was meant to be used to dethrone Richard.

cloudlessnights : How come he knows that?

Marian: They wouldn't dare oppose the king!

Robin: Well, he's not in England...

fourth_rose : Can we just say for the record that Richard the Lionheart spent hardly any time in England during his entire life?

cutecoati : Totally unrelated, is that a half-moon on top of Azeem's tent?


Robin: I've seen knights panic at the first sign of battle, and the lowliest unarmed squire pull a spear from his own body to defend a dying horse.

fourth_rose : What are unarmed squires doing in a battle?

Robin: Nobility is not a birthright, it is defined by one's actions.

cutecoati : I surrender. There's just too much to work with here.

Robin: I never could forgive my father for loving a peasant woman.

fourth_rose : Because a nobleman's son would have given a rat's arse about his father's peasant mistresses.

Boy: Dad!! Mum's dying!

Little John: Wah, Fanny's baby is coming!

cutecoati : That was the most invisible pregnancy ever.

fourth_rose : And since when is Azeem a gynaecologist?

Azeem: *performs caesarean*

cutecoati : While it's true that the Arabians were renowned for their medical knowledge, that didn't make every Arabian a born surgeon!

cloudlessnights : Also, the poor mother who has just had her belly cut open recovers somewhat fast.


Will Scarlett: May I have this dance?

Robin: Fuck off, she's mine.

fourth_rose : First Alan Rickman and now Christian Slater. What is she, blind?

cutecoati : Yes, and deaf, too.


Cooties in the mist.

Robin: Farewell, my love. Take Duncan with you.

cutecoati : Why does Duncan keep calling him "Sire"? He's not the bloody king!

Robin's silhouette slowly fades into the mist as the boat leaves.

fourth_rose : He really doesn't have the legs for tights.


Dungeon of Disgusting Witchcraft.

Mortianna: We're in deep shit, my child. Seek the help of these who share our God.

Sheriff: Celts?

fourth_rose : What?

cloudlessnights : Which God?

cutecoati : Which Celts?

Sheriff: They drink the blood of the dead!

fourth_rose : That's physically impossible.

cloudlessnights : Unless you're fast.

Mortianna: Put thine issue on the throne.

Sheriff: A child? How?

cutecoati : The usual way, I guess.

cloudlessnights : I suppose she forgot to tell him about the birds and the bees over snakes and toads.

fourth_rose : Besides, there's the small matter of the king's brother who's ruling right now!!!


Marian: *writes letter to King Richard*

fourth_rose : You don't roll parchment, you fold it! Why does every movie ever made have to get that wrong?

Marian: Send this letter to King Richard in France.

cutecoati : What's he doing in France?

fourth_rose : And even if he has been released from his captivity by the Emperor, isn't it somewhat the point that no one in England knows that yet?

cutecoati : Otherwise, the "oooooo, Richard!" moment at the end of each Robin Hood movie would be somewhat ruined.


Marian: *embroiders and sings*

fourth_rose : Please tell me that's not the Bayeux Tapestry she's embroidering here.

cutecoati : To make up for it, she's singing a song from the renaissance period.

Soldiers: *capture Marian*

cutecoati : Where are her Ninja skills now?

cloudlessnights : Only works with the black leather. In skirts, she's in "damsel in distress" mode.


Duncan: Horsie, take me to Master Robin!

cloudlessnights : That horse displays an intelligence of Lassie-like proportions.

Duncan: Master Robin, the enemies are coming!

Robin: Well, thanks, I can see that. Unlike you.

Celts: *cavalry attack*

cutecoati : The Celts aren't exactly renowned for their riding skills...

cloudlessnights : That's somewhat obvious.

fourth_rose : Besides, who tries a cavalry charge in the woods?

Robin: *swings on rope*

fourth_rose : Finally he gets an Erroll Flynn moment!

cutecoati : Why did they get butchered for half an hour before they thought of the burning arrows?

fourth_rose : And how did they manage to drag catapults through the woods without being detected?


Sheriff: Marian, marry me and I'll give you the lives of the captives. Btw, your sweetie is dead. Here's his fancy necklace.

Marian: Wah!

cloudlessnights : Has she ever heard of the fact that one can lose necklaces? It's not as if he'd shown her Robin's head!


Robin: *returns from the dead*

cloudlessnights : Drama queen.

Will Scarlett: Congrats, your men will hang, and the Sheriff will marry your girl.

Robin: Have I wronged you in another life, Will?

cutecoati : It's Middle Ages, not New Age, you twit.

Will Scarlett: Wah, I'm your brother! You ruined my life by making Daddy not love me!!

fourth_rose : What did he expect, being the bastard son of a peasant woman?


Azeem: Watch the black powder!

fourth_rose : You don't happen to have an ICBM hidden somewhere, too?


Nottingham castle, execution day.

fourth_rose : Their idea of stealthily infiltrating the place is almost cute.

Tuck: Come here, my leprous friend!

cutecoati : Nice line, but a leper's not exactly supposed to go around and socialize...

Onto the hanging...

cutecoati : Why does the executioner bother to put on his mask now? Everyone has seen his face already!

Not very Merry Man: Leave John's son, he's only a boy!

fourth_rose : What kind of reason would that have been not to execute him?

Robin: *improvises*

Azeem: *blows up his surroundings*

Sheriff: Oh, shit.

Azeem: Englishmen! Wouldn't you rather be free men?

cloudlessnights : I thought he was.

cutecoati : What?

cloudlessnights : Freeman.

fourth_rose : *facepalm*


Forced wedding scene.

Mortianna: NOW!!

Marian: Never!

Sheriff: STFU, I need to concentrate!

Bishop: Do you, Marian, from the house of Dubois...

fourth_rose : The house of what?

cutecoati : From the woods?

cloudlessnights : Oh, destiny!!

cutecoati : Given her position as the king's cousin in this movie, I'd have expected her to be a Plantagenet of sorts...

Robin: *smashes through window*

fourth_rose : Do you have any idea how expensive glass is during that time?

cutecoati : And how much you would hurt yourself trying to jump through lead-framed glass?

Azeem: *stabs Mortianna*

Sheriff: Hey, get out, it's my wedding night!

Robin: But my sword is so much longer! *stabs sheriff*

Sheriff: *dies messily*

Mortianna: Wah!

Azeem: How many times do I have to kill you?


Woodland wedding.

cutecoati : Oh, we're going for country style now!

King Richard: Hold!

Crowd: Who's that?

fourth_rose : Like we wouldn't recognize that voice everywhere.

King Richard: My name is Lionheart. Richard Lionheart.

cutecoati : I know that man ages spectacularly well, but he's still twice the age of the real Richard here...

King Richard: I'll give the bride away.

fourth_rose : Even if she's severely misbehaving by not even bobbing a curtsy at the arrival of her king here!

Robin&King: *handshake*

fourth_rose : *headdesk*

Robin&Marian: *kiss*

cloudlessnights : Somehow, it's just not the same without the green tights...

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After this fun session, the next instalment will once again have less legend and more history: it will be Shekhar Kapur's Elizabeth.

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[User Picture]From: shocolate
2005-10-08 04:49 pm (UTC)


Robin: Dad, you will be avenged.

cloudlessnights: By Grabthar's hammer!

Bless you.

I know I should have managed the whole of this film, or even fast-forwarded it to the Alan Rickman bits, but I never make it past the fight with Little John. Robin is just too awful - the hair, the speed of his journey from Dover, the hair, the accent, the random black guy.

But I have seen the video lots, of course, and never understood why she'd chose Kevin over AR - and as for crashing through a heavily leaded widow? You are so right!
From: crikkita
2005-10-09 07:01 am (UTC)


That was my favourite bit, too! Especially given the fact that that is AR's line from Galaxy Quest. (Which you all knew. I'm just, you know, repeating it.)

[User Picture]From: revena
2005-10-08 04:55 pm (UTC)


Hehehe... Great job, thanks guys! And you're totally right - Alan Rickman and Christian Slater, and she picks Kevin Costner? WTF?
[User Picture]From: hilarita
2005-10-08 06:21 pm (UTC)


Yes, it shows quite astonishing lack of taste on her part. Really, just leave them both in the woods and send the flaming arrows in. It'll be much better.
[User Picture]From: igraine_bamboo
2005-10-08 05:00 pm (UTC)


Favorite part:

Azeem: Englishmen! Wouldn't you rather be free men?

cloudlessnights: I thought he was.

cutecoati: What?

cloudlessnights: Freeman.

fourth_rose: *facepalm*

You guys, as always, rock! I look forward to the next sporking.
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 10:45 am (UTC)


Thank you so much!

[User Picture]From: watersword
2005-10-08 05:05 pm (UTC)


I was just thinking about y'all this morning.

And now I love you with a great big love.
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 10:46 am (UTC)


Thank you! We're glad we haven't been forgotten despite our long absence...

[User Picture]From: kajivar
2005-10-08 05:07 pm (UTC)


You had me at "We've seen 'Troy'. We know what you mean by that, fellow."
[User Picture]From: diannelamerc
2005-10-08 10:47 pm (UTC)


Gotta agree with Kaji here. *laughing madly*
[User Picture]From: chickenfeet2003
2005-10-08 05:09 pm (UTC)

Nice job but...


I'm going to have to spork you on...

Yes, because there aren't any "hired soldiers" during that time...

There were... lots. John had a bunch of them (Flemings, though not Ian) on the Bouvines campaign (at least according to Michael Prestwich) and what do you think all those English who should have been whooping Norman ass patriotically with RH were doing down in Byzantium? They weren't taking icon painting lessons.
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 11:14 am (UTC)

Re: Nice job but...


Yes, but John was the King (and the Battle was in Flandres, and the Flemish count was an ally to John) and not some random George of Nottingham (whoever that's supposed to be anyway...) who couldn't just enter the next inn and hire some mercenaries for beating down some peasants/plan an uprise against the king; besides, in the High Middle Ages, even the king would still (have to) rely heavily on his nobility for support.

What is so annoying in the Hollywood movies is that they give the impression as if one just had to grab a sword/bow/whatever and would automatically be a qualified warrior, as if one didn't need a lifelong training...

Image of icon-painting knights in full armour is firmly stuck in brain now... ;D

[User Picture]From: petzipellepingo
2005-10-08 05:23 pm (UTC)


Azeem: Watch the black powder!
fourth_rose: You don't happen to have an ICBM hidden somewhere, too?


cloudlessnights: Somehow, it's just not the same without the green tights...
Yeah and don't forget those lovely sequins on his jerkin.
Poor Alan, I bet he leaves this one off his resume quite a bit and so does Morgan.

[User Picture]From: spiralsheep
2005-10-08 06:25 pm (UTC)


Poor Alan, I bet he leaves this one off his resume quite a bit

Erm... except that the Sheriff of Nottingham, played as Alan Rickman played him in this film, is a regular fixture of pantomimes and even Ian McKellen proudly appears in panto! It's an eccentric English thing so you'll just have to trust me on this. :-)
[User Picture]From: angevin2
2005-10-08 05:25 pm (UTC)


cutecoati: Number two: no mixing of girls and guys in churches either! And besides, alms-giving is fine, but you don't give money to 12th century poor! What would they do with it?

cloudlessnights: Go shopping?


the next instalment will once again have less legend and more history: it will be Shekhar Kapur's Elizabeth.

What sad times are these when one can apply this statement to Elizabeth and actually be reasonably accurate... ;)
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 04:51 pm (UTC)



What sad times are these when one can apply this statement to Elizabeth and actually be reasonably accurate...

At least, "Robin Hood" never claimed to be a historically accurate movie... as did "Elizabeth" *rub hands in gleeful anticipation*
[User Picture]From: captainjames
2005-10-08 05:29 pm (UTC)


You've done a great job again!
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 04:52 pm (UTC)


Thank you, dear!
[User Picture]From: thistlerose
2005-10-08 05:43 pm (UTC)


Guy: Don't hurt me, I'm the sheriff's cousin!

cutecoati, cloudlessnights, fourth_rose: We've seen "Troy". We know what you mean by that, fellow.


OMG, I've been waiting for you to mock this one! This was a treat.
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 04:53 pm (UTC)


Thank you!

Hmmm, we definitely got confused by all these cousins around.

No dying, please... ;-))
[User Picture]From: zoepaleologa
2005-10-08 05:53 pm (UTC)


Yo! Welcome back, and worth the wait. This got me first line:

Richard the Lionheart went to save the Holy Land from the Turks.

I go back in time to 1983, and University, the scene is European History 1789 - 1955. We have a tutorial...

Idiot fellow student: So the Turks, see...

Professor X (gently): The Ottoman Empire...

Idiot fellow student: The what?

Prof X: The Ottoman Empire. That's what it was called in those times, the Nation of "Turkey" was established in the 1920's under Kemal Ataturk.

(a moments pregnant pause)

Idiotic Fellow Student: It's Turkey! Look at the map. You should read the books!

Prof X: Actually, you'll find I wrote the text book you are using for this course. And in it, I refer only to the Ottoman Empire being as the period in question is the 19th Century, and Turkey does not exist at that point.

(he looks pointedly at the seminar group)

And I shall remove marks from anyone who uses the erroneous term, "Turkey" either in coursework or exams... to include your finals...

And during the reign of Richard I (who I always call Richard the Arsebandit, on the ground of his being one) I think it was not the Ottoman Empire either, but the Seljuk empire.


That aside, generally the inclusion of the Morgan Freeman character, much as I generally like Morgan Freeman in anything, is just political correctness gone utterly mad. So the movie needed a black guy? Despite it being set in the twelfth century? In that case, where was the sympathetic gay character, the cuddly single parent or the inspirational lesbian? And what about the disabled? Why are they largely ignored in this movie? Eh?

Elizabeth next? *rubs hands in unholy glee*
[User Picture]From: shocolate
2005-10-08 06:50 pm (UTC)


Yes, I sit there ranting about the Random Black Guy and my husband turns it off.
[User Picture]From: _illumina_
2005-10-08 06:15 pm (UTC)



Thank you so much!

Very much looking forward to Elizabeth, there were many moments of teeth-gritting when I watched it.
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 04:58 pm (UTC)


You're welcome! ;-))) Thank you for liking it!

Oooh, Elizabeth...
[User Picture]From: spiralsheep
2005-10-08 06:16 pm (UTC)


Thank you so much for these wonderful sporks!
Yes that's Hadrian's wall near Vindolanda but, hey, if they can walk the 150 miles from Dover to Nottingham in one day then why not add the extra 500 mile round trip from Nottingham to Once Brewed and back?
Robin: Dad said it was vanity to force our religion upon others.
fourth_rose: That, however, would have got him into serious trouble.
cutecoati: For being an alien intruder from the future!

Me: Hahahahahahahaha!
I ♥ Alan Rickman playing the traditional pantomime Sheriff of Nottingham,
"CALL OFF CHRISTMAS!" :squees quietly:
cutecoati: Given her position as the king's cousin in this movie, I'd have expected her to be a Plantagenet of sorts...

Me: Or maybe she was Richards, y'know, Troy-cousin... in which case either the Sheriff of Nottingham or Robin is in for a surprise when he gets her dress off...
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 05:00 pm (UTC)


in which case either the Sheriff of Nottingham or Robin is in for a surprise when he gets her dress off...


Thank you!
[User Picture]From: absurdwords
2005-10-08 06:26 pm (UTC)


*dies laughing*
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 05:10 pm (UTC)


No dying, please!! We need you! :DD
From: atlanta06
2005-10-08 06:29 pm (UTC)


Y'all are back! *glomps* =D

LMAO! I love the references to HP and previous sporkings. Excellent. You know you are "Teh Awesome-ness" when you can reference yourself...

Need to get my hands on that movie. Just to see AR again...

[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 05:13 pm (UTC)


Ooohh... thank you!

Actually, we quite like this movie (er, stress quite here) - at least, it's not dead serious and hasn't got an Issue of Gibsonic proportions... and it has AR, of course ;D
[User Picture]From: gnomentum
2005-10-08 06:45 pm (UTC)


fourth_rose: OMG homemade swords!

cutecoati: And there's a bit more to a bow than just a stick and a bit of string. Btw, where are they getting the iron from? Is it growing on the trees in the forest?

Not to mention the fact they are CASTING the bleddy things... having watched arrowheads being forged and knowing a little of casting processes too, I can ASSURE them that doing it properly, with a hammer and anvil, would be quicker and less trouble than casting them. And might actually stand a chance of producing workable weapons rather than soft c**p.
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 05:19 pm (UTC)



Weapons and armour are always especially sporkworthy... this kind of "hey, we got hold of some metal, wadd'ya think, shall we forge a decent sword?" approach, applicable to all kinds of weaponry - which, of course, simply everybody can fight with after only two minutes of training. Or, if you're lucky (?) enough to be Orlando Bloom, without training.
[User Picture]From: grasshopper
2005-10-08 08:13 pm (UTC)


No, wait, there's a hint of mint. Must be England.

Hee!!! This was utterly fabulous! Not to mention informative -- I never knew about the lack of benches in churches until the 18th century. The only thing missing is commentary on the cheesy Bryan Adams clip at the end (do they still include that video with the film? They did on my VHS copy from the early 90s).

I can't believe I've only just discovered this community. It rather reminds me of watching war films with my dad -- he MSTs them like mad, saying things like 'A Lieutenant Commander would never have the authority to do such and such.' I'll have to go read your other sporkings :-)

And Elizabeth!!! OMG I can't wait!!


[User Picture]From: angevin2
2005-10-08 10:18 pm (UTC)


Heh. My dad does that too (even in fantasy war movies like Return of the King). And he's never, ever been in the military.
[User Picture]From: a_belladonna
2005-10-08 08:54 pm (UTC)


Yay! It's good to have the sporkings back! :D And this one was really funny.

fourth_rose: That wood is rather well-kept, given that it's supposed to be a haunted wilderness.

cloudlessnights: Well, all those folks living there probably do a fair bit of cleaning.

[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 05:26 pm (UTC)


Thank you!

We're glad we're back... ;DD
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: fishity
2005-10-08 09:58 pm (UTC)


OMG icon love!
[User Picture]From: fishity
2005-10-08 09:55 pm (UTC)


I've only ever seen the "Men In Tights" version of Robin Hood. Looks like I missed something. The sporking was lovely even if I don't know the movie. But "Elizabeth" next time will be all the funnier...I've seen that one!

You did a wonderful job, as always. I'm looking forward to the next instalment! *fangirls*
[User Picture]From: fishity
2005-10-08 09:57 pm (UTC)


That should be "even though" up there, I think. *is no native speaker*
[User Picture]From: crevette
2005-10-08 11:43 pm (UTC)


::is DED::

You know, this almost, ALMOST makes up for the fact that I paid full price to see this in the theater.
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 08:22 pm (UTC)



Maybe we should reclaim the money from the theatre... ;DD

Thanks a lot!
[User Picture]From: i_like_soap
2005-10-09 01:34 am (UTC)


Oh sweet mother-of-God, that was funny! Serioulsy, you guys really are just freakin' hilarious. And I loved the Mel references.

Elizabeth? I love that film, can't wait!
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 08:25 pm (UTC)


Ooohhh... that's so sweet of you to say! Thanks!

Yay, as much as KC is not a proper Robin Hood, he at least doesn't randomly squeeze in a freedom!!!speech every 30 seconds... and he doesn't take himself too seriously, either.
[User Picture]From: shezan
2005-10-09 01:36 am (UTC)


[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 08:25 pm (UTC)


Thank you! ♥
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 08:26 pm (UTC)


Thank you so much!

Well, the movie was simply begging for it...
[User Picture]From: leni_jess
2005-10-09 03:31 am (UTC)


*hasn't seen this Robin Hood; now wants to see it less, except for Alan Rickman's Sheriff*

*notes Azeem is a Really Useful Character, all those skills and PC too*

*is still laughing*
[User Picture]From: history_spork
2005-10-09 08:32 pm (UTC)



Glad you're enjoyed it!

You know, it actually is a rather enjoyable movie - they don't take themselves too seriously (not even Kevin Costner, pity that he simply can't act), and Rickman, Slater and Freeman are worth looking at!

(The PC-ness of Azeem is rather annoying, though - if they found it necessary to depict an educated, likeable, tolerant etc. Muslim, why-oh-why didn't they chose an arabian character, uh?)

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