| Elizabeth - The Golden Age |
[Feb. 26th, 2008|10:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
Okay, so we've really, really been looking forward to doing this one. The first movie was spork-worthingly bad already, but we guess that Shekan Kapur's Elizabeth – The Golden Age will remain unsurpassed, headdesking- and teeth-grinding-wise. For a while, at least.
As always, bring your own spork to it!
( No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! )
Next time, we'll go back in time a bit, both in movie history and in the historical period the movie deals with William Wyler's Ben Hur. |
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| The Last Legion |
[Jan. 1st, 2008|02:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
Happy New Year, everybody! We're back with the sporking of Doug Lefler's The Last Legion. No grinding of teeth here, just a lot of giggling and a bit of headdesking :)
( Once upon a time in Britannia )
Since we already sporked the original "Elizabeth" movie a while ago, of course we won't spare the sequel either – Shekhar Kapur's Elizabeth – The Golden Age is next on our to-do list! |
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| 300 |
[Oct. 6th, 2007|10:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nauseated | ] |
Sorry it took us so long to update, but Zach Snyder's 300 has been sitting like a block in our path, which already tells you everything you need to know about our opinion of this movie.
Disclaimer: Yes, we know the movie is based on a comic book. No, this doesn't excuse anything. You want fantasy, you create fantasy. "Lord of the Rings" is forever safe from historical sporking. Anything that uses real names, events etc. meddles with history and is therefore game.
( Don't blame the Spartans, passerby… )
Okay, for our next sporking we want something really funny without any need for gnashing of teeth, therefore we'll spork a movie that recently sent us into fits of giggles at the movie theatre: Doug Lefler's The Last Legion. |
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| The Adventures of Robin Hood |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|10:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  giggly | ] |
Today's sporking session is pure fun, with lots of hairstyling issues - because we all went nostalgic over William Keighley's and Michael Curtiz' Adventures of Robin Hood, featuring Errol "The Perm" Flynn and Olivia "Miss Tinfoil" de Havilland! Come join us for a bit of swashbuckling spork! :)
( A Perm For All Seasons )
Next time, it's going to be *brace themselves* Zack Snyder's 300, subject to the condition that the movie's released on DVD over here already! Otherwise... we're sure we'll find a replacement ;D |
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| Tristan + Isolde |
[Mar. 25th, 2007|09:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
Sorry for the long delay – but we're back at last to take a stab at Kevin Reynold's Tristan + Isolde, winner of this decade's Pointless Anachronism Award. As always, bring your own spork and join in!
( Kiss me, I'm Irish! )
As to our plans for future sporkings, we see the number 300 looming on the horizon... but until this one comes out on DVD and forces us to grind out teeth into powder, we're determined to have as much fun as we can. Therefore, up next is the mother of all swashbuckling flicks, Michael Curtiz' and William Keighley's Adventures of Robin Hood. Yes, the one with Errol Flynn! |
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| Anastasia |
[Oct. 14th, 2006|12:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Huh?? | ] |
Today, it's our first attempt at sporking an animated movie, Don Blyth's and Gary Goldman's Anastasia. Brace yourself...
( Ra – Ra – Rasputin... )
Okay, we need to make up for the trauma we suffered here, so the next one will definitely be fun to spork: it will be Randall Wallace's Man in the Iron Mask! |
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| Titanic |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|11:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
As many of you requested, today's victim is James Cameron's Titanic, blockbuster of the decade and tear-jerker extraordinaire!
To be perfectly honest, we were a bit sceptical about this movie's historical sporking potential because the makers did quite a thorough job with the facts, and we're not that interested in pointing out that they might have used the wrong kind of screws for set 573 (which we would have had to look up anyway ;) But holy cow, the social issues! It quickly turned out there was more than enough material after all...
Besides, we don't think we've ever abused so many different movie quotes in a sporking before – bonus points to anyone who spots them all!
( But why is the diamond gone? )
To make up for all the history we didn't get to spork here, next up is the 1997 cartoon version of Anastasia. |
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| First Knight |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|06:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
Today's sporking victim is another movie that suffers from the "what is this girl, blind?" syndrome – Jerry Zucker's First Knight. As always, bring your own spork and join in, there's definitely enough for everyone in this movie ;)
( I'm too sexy for my armour. )
As the clear winner of our poll, the next sporking victim will be James Cameron's Titanic. |
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| German bonus sporking: Der Schatz im Silbersee |
[May. 22nd, 2006|11:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
This is a sort of bonus sporking for the German-speaking part of our readership. In honour of fellow sporker ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) cutecoati's birthday, we, cloudlessnights and fourth_rose, have set out to spork a movie that has probably been a part of every childhood spent in a German-speaking country ever since the 1960ies: Harald Reinl's Der Schatz im Silbersee, the first in a string of movies featuring the (in)famous heroes Winnetou & Old Shatterhand, loosely based on the works of good old Karl May. If you know what we're talking about, bring your own spork tomahawk and join us on the warpath...
Ich Old Shatterhand, du Winnetou
To those who don't speak German, don't worry, this is a one-time occurrence. As promised, we'll soon be back with the (English!) sporking of Jerry Zucker's First Knight. |
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